Remembrance
by Kate Anderson
Summary: *story complete* What if you couldn't remember anything from your former life? Would you remember the most important person from it if you met him again? (Bosco/Faith)
1. Chapter One

Title: Remembrance  
  
Author: Kate Anderson  
  
Email: sam_loves_jack@yahoo.ca  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Third Watch. They are the product of someone else's over-active imagination, not mine.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Spoilers: nothing major, just general knowledge of the series  
  
Summary: What if you couldn't remember anything from your former life? Would you remember the most important person from it if you met him again?  
  
  
  


Have you ever met someone one day and felt as though you've known that person for your entire life? A complete stranger, someone you met while standing in line at the store, or taking a walk in the park? I suppose that I might have known him Before. He could have been my friend, my lover, my husband even and we'd never have known. 

I don't remember anything from Before, no one does. At least they claim to know something. Someone out there must. With one billion people on the planet, the odds are that someone remembers. 

Sometimes I close my eyes and try to remember my life Before but it's blank. My memories begin from the moment I opened my eyes in the shelter. 

We were all given identities, small mementos from our former lives. Most of us had personal information on us or near us when it happened. I know that my name is Faith Boscorelli and I'm 34 years old. 

_____________ 

The sky's dark today, darker than usual. There are books and photographs from Before on display at the memorial downtown. The sky used to be a brilliant blue, like the colour of my eyes. But now it's a constant grey, distorted by the plastic dome that keeps us all safe. 

I leave my apartment on 1st Avenue with my son in my arms. Jamie was born After. I was pregnant when it happened. I don't know who his father is, or was, they told me that I was found alone. 

Jamie must take after his father because he's nothing like me. His blue eyes might be mine, but the rest of his features aren't. He can be hard to handle at times and other times he's the perfect little angel. 

Jamie starts wiggling around in my arms, begging me to put him down so he can walk. "I'm a big boy mama!" he informs me, so I set him down and runs ahead. 

I'm going to the store, Jamie and I received our goods stamps yesterday and he desperately needs new clothes. He's growing up so fast. 

"Hurry up mama!" Jamie calls back to me and laughs. We pass a few families on our walk. Most families have formed After but a few are still together from Before. If they were together when it happened, they were lucky. 

"Can I get new shoes?" Jamie asks me as he tries to pull open the heavy doors that lead into the store. The store is one of the few surviving buildings from Before. I reach out and help him pull. 

"You bet sweetie, we'll get you new everything." Jamie grins at me what must have been his father's grin. "Yay!" he screams with joy and wraps his small arms around my legs for a quick hug. 

Jamie releases my legs and grabs my hand. "Come on mama, the shoes are this way." He tugs on my hand and I'm dragged across the store by a four year old. The shoes are on the fourth floor and we take a set of stairs up. The stairs are called an escalator and some have speculated that they're supposed to move, but no one can get them working. We must have all been lazy Before if we couldn't walk up stairs. 

I look around and see the store is busy today. A lot of other people must have received their goods stamps yesterday as well. I just hope that not all the good pairs of shoes in Jamie's size are taken. 

"Mama! Look!" Jamie points to a large framed painting that's hanging on the wall. "What is that?" 

I look at the painting and hold my son's hand tighter. "I don't know sweetie, but I hope that they don't live in New York." The painting depicts a large animal with a mass of fur around its neck. It's snarling and showing a mouthful of razor sharp looking teeth. The animal probably lived Before and is now gone, not many animals survived. 

As I stare at the picture, Jamie lets go of my hand and runs off through the crowd. I figure he's just anxious to get to shoes so I follow him, expecting to find him pawing through the sale bins. When I get there, Jamie is no where in sight. "Jamie!" I call out, hoping that he'll hear my voice above the hum of the others. 

A young woman glances over in my direction. She's holding the hand of a small dark haired boy. "Did you lose your son?" she asks me. 

I nod. "Did you see a little boy with brown hair, wearing a red shirt and overalls run by here?" 

The woman shakes her head and mumbles sorry. I notice that she clasps her own child's hand tighter and pulls him away from me. As if just being near me, the careless mother, will cause her to lose the boy. "Jamie!" I call out again. 

My heart thuds in my chest, thinking that I've lost my child. My only companion. My only family. "Jamie!" I sound hysterical now and tears have started to run down my face. 

"Excuse me, did you lose something?" A voice from behind me manages to break through my frantic thoughts of someone stealing Jamie. I turn around and through my veil of tears, I see a man holding my son out to me. 

"Oh my God Jamie! Don't you ever do that to me again!" I say and snatch my son from the arm's arms. Jamie wraps his arms around my neck and nuzzles me. 

"Sorry mama," he whispers. "I wanted to look at the toys." 

I look at the man who rescued my son for me closely for the first time. He's smiling at me and I feel my heart skip a beat. His smile is Jamie's. 

"Glad that I could help out ma'am." the man says and nods. He turns to leave. My mind is going a mile a minute, wondering who this man is. 

"Wait!" I call out and the man stops. "I don't even know your name and I want to thank you!" 

He turns around again and walks back towards me. Even his walk is familiar, the self assured, half swagger. "Maurice." he says and offers me his hand. 

I shift Jamie around so that I have one hand free. "I'm Faith. Thank you for bringing my son back to me." 

"Faith." The man whose name is Maurice repeats my name and then smiles Jamie's smile again. "That's a pretty name." 

His name stirs nothing inside me, not like his smile or his walk do. I shrug it off and decide that must be nothing more than a coincidence. I couldn't possibly remember anything from Before, I'm just being silly. "It's nice meeting you Maurice." I say and then nod slightly at him. 

Jamie's arms are still around my neck and he whispers into my ear, "I like Maurice, he smells nice." 

Maurice, who won't stop smiling my son's smile, nods at me as well and then turns around again. This time I don't stop him. 

_______________ 

"Look at me mama!" Jamie is trying on his new clothes. 

"Do you like your new pants?" I ask him. I wasn't sure about the pants at the store, but Jamie insisted that we get them. 'They look like Maurice's pants mama' is what Jamie said to me. 

"I love them!" Jamie shouts and begins to spin around in circles with his arms out to his side. 

"You're going to make yourself sick." I warn my son, but he doesn't heed my warnings, he never does, so I put out an arm and stop him. He scowls at me and sits down on the floor and picks up a toy that we bought him. 

"What do you think this is?" Jamie holds up his new toy. 

"It's called a car sweetie." I reply. I know about those, they have pictures and information about them at the memorial. "People used them Before." 

"What are these things on top of it?" Jamie points to the small objects set on top of the car. 

I shrug. "They look like lights. Maybe it's a special kind of car. What does it say on the side?" I've been trying to teach Jamie how to read but he's been very stubborn about it so far. 

"N...Y...P...D.." Jamie says, sticking out his bottom lip as he concentrates. "What does that mean mama?" 

"I'm not sure sweetie." I say and I get a fluttery feeling in my chest. It's that same feeling that I got when I looked at Maurice today. 

Jamie yawns and rubs his eyes. He pushes the car across the floor for a while before tiring of it and setting it aside. "I'm tired." he says and yawns again for emphasis. 

"Bedtime?" I ask, wondering if Jamie will protest. He usually does, but if he's really tired, he'll go with no fuss. Tonight seems to be one of those no fuss nights as he nods. I pick him up and carry him into his room. 

"Do you want to sleep with Mr Jubbles or Mr Hubbles tonight?" I look at the two stuffed toys that are set near Jamie's bed. Jamie crawls into the bed and pulls the covers up to his neck. 

"Mr Jubbles, I slept with Mr Hubbles last night." Jamie replies and he sounds as though I should have known the answer without having to ask. 

I set Mr Jubbles, a brightly coloured animal, down beside my son and then push the hair back from Jamie's forehead. I press a kiss onto him and Jamie kisses me back. "Night mama." he says sleepily. 

"Goodnight Jamie." I reply and slowly leave his room. 

With Jamie in bed there isn't much for me to do. I own a few books, relics from Before but I've read them all so many times that I have them memorized. They're all romance novels that involve a man sweeping the woman off her feet into a passionate love affair. Sometimes I wonder if it was like that between myself and Jamie's father. 

I curl up on the small couch and rest my head on the arm. The neighbours are being noisy again tonight. They're constantly fighting. The man's name is Fred and though I've met him a few times, I don't like him. He has two kids, a girl and a boy. I get the girl, Emily to babysit Jamie sometimes. 

"Shut up Fred." I mutter. "Just stop yelling at the kids." Fred, of course, doesn't listen to me, he never does. 

I close my eyes and slowly drift off into sleep. 

_I'm standing in the middle of the street, looking at the back of someone's head. It's probably a man, judging by the short hair. He's running ahead of me, increasing the distance between us quickly. Looking around I can see one of the cars, like Jamie's toy. Except this one's not a toy, this one's real. _

"Faith!" A voice calls my name and I look around. 

"Where are you!? Talk to me!" I call out. My voice is frantic. 

Another car pulls up and two men jump out. They're wearing hats and what looks like a uniform. I look down and see that I'm dressed exactly like them. 

"What's going on here?" asks one of the men. He's looking at me with a worried expression on his face. 

"He's not answering!" I reply. 

Suddenly there's loud bangs and I jump. In the distance someone cries out in pain and I feel my heart jump and my stomach begins to twist. "Oh my God! Bosco!" 

I wake up with sweat beaded on my brow. I wipe it off and try to slow my breathing down. I hope that I didn't cry out and disturb Jamie. 

I get off the couch and tip-toe down the hall. Pushing open the door to Jamie's room just a crack, I look in and see that he's curled up with Mr Jubbles in his arms. I close the door again and walk back down the hall. 

"Bosco..." I say under my breath. "Who's Bosco?" I couldn't see the face of the man who was running ahead of me. It doesn't matter though, it was just a dream. A dream brought on by Jamie's questions about his toy car.   
  



	2. Chapter Two

  
  
  


I've thought a lot about Maurice these past few days. I even went back to the store once to see if he was there. He wasn't of course, and I felt ridiculous for even looking. I can't seem to get him out of my head. Sometimes I wonder if Maurice and my dream are connected somehow. Bosco. My name is Boscorelli. When I was given my identity, they told me that I was the only surviving Boscorelli. 

I'm taking Jamie over to the park today, he needs to get out of our small apartment and run around. He's wearing his new pants again. I've had to wash them every night because he insists on wearing them. "I look like Maurice mama!" he tells me repeatedly. 

"Jamie? Are you ready to go?" I ask my son. He looks up at me, his blue eyes wide. 

"We going to the park now?" 

I nod and ruffle his hair. "Put on your shoes sweetie and we'll go." 

Jamie hurries off and grabs his shoes which are set by the door. He puts his feet into them and walks over, barely managing not to trip over the laces, to get me to tie them up for him. "We're going to have to teach you how to tie your own shoes soon." I tell him and Jamie frowns. 

"But I want you to do it mama." Jamie says. 

"I can't tie your laces for you forever." 

Jamie ponders that and then slowly nods. "Nope." he says finally and looks at me. "Let's go!" 

I take Jamie's hand and we leave the apartment. As we pass by our neighbour's place, Fred pokes his head out and grins at me. "Good morning Faith." he says, looking me up and down. 

Fred once invited Jamie and I over for dinner under the pretence of him wanting a playmate for Charlie and Emily. He sent the kids off to another room and then put his hand under my shirt. I slapped him and Jamie and I never set foot in that place again. When Emily babysits, she comes over to my house. 

"Fred." I say, by way of a greeting, and nod. 

"You two going out?" Fred directs that question more towards Jamie than me. He knows that I won't tell him where we're going. 

"We're going to the park!" Jamie says excitedly. A small dark head appears from around Fred. "Charlie!" Jamie exclaims. 

"Hi Jamie." Charlie says and I feel a slight flutter in my chest. The same feeling that I got from Maurice and Jamie's toy car. I've decided it's because, despite the fact that they have a terrible father, Charlie and Emily are both wonderful kids. I love them. 

"Mama and I are going to the park." Jamie informs Charlie then he looks up at me. "Can Charlie come too?" 

I look at Fred and see that he's staring at my chest. "Charlie's welcome to join us if he wants to." I tell him and Fred doesn't even look up as he mumbles something and nods his head. 

"Put your shoes and jacket on Charlie. Jamie and I will be waiting outside." I need to get away from Fred. 

Charlie nods, his cheeks flushed with excitement. His head disappears and I take Jamie's hand and we walk to the stairwell. "Don't let Charlie get into the water this time!" Fred calls after me and I sigh. Fred is convinced that I have no idea how to take care of his precious son. 

_______________ 

"Do you guys want to play on the bars or look at the ducks first?" 

"The ducks!" Both boys yell at me and we head towards the small pond with the ducks. Animals are very rare and we're lucky to have these ducks living in our city. I've heard that in Paris, they have swans. Beautiful white birds with long, graceful necks. 

We reach the pond and Charlie and Jamie run towards the water's edge. "Be careful with him Charlie! Don't let him fall in!" I yell and Charlie grabs Jamie's hand and pulls him back from the edge. 

"I see he's recovered from his ordeal." says a voice behind me. My chest tightens and I swallow hard. I know the voice. Turning around I see that it's Maurice. 

"Hi." I manage to say. 

"I'm Maurice, we met at the store the other day. I um, returned your son to you." Maurice says with a smile. He obviously thinks that I don't remember him. 

"Yes, I remember." I say and wring my hands nervously. "It's nice to see you again." 

"You too." Maurice says and gestures towards a small wooden bench. "Let's sit down." he says and seats himself. I also sit down, as far away from him as possible. 

Charlie throws something at the ducks which excites them, they think it's food. "Don't tease them you two!" I yell at them and two faces look at me, suitably chagrined expressions on them. 

"Is that your son as well?" Maurice asks, looking at Charlie. 

"No, he's my neighbour's son. I take him to the park with us occasionally." 

"Oh, he just kind of resembles you. I thought that..." 

I shake my head. "No, Jamie's my only child." 

Maurice nods. "Jamie. Is his name James then?" 

I can tell that Maurice isn't sure what to say to me and I've never been good at small talk. "Did you really want to discuss my son Maurice?" 

Maurice looks a bit shocked at my forwardness. It's something about me that tends to shock a lot of people. "No, I guess not." he replies. "I was hoping to run into you again Faith. This is probably going to sound really stupid, but after I met you the other day, I couldn't stop thinking about you." 

That fluttery feeling is back again. I close my eyes and try to control my racing pulse. "Do you remember anything from Before?" I ask and then immediately wonder why I asked him that. 

Maurice looks slightly taken aback. "No, no I don't remember anything. I haven't met anyone that does." 

Before isn't something that most people like to talk about, most of them consider it taboo. The past is the past, they say, this is now. Why dwell on something that we don't remember? 

"I don't either." I say, looking into his blue eyes. "I was just wondering." 

"Is that how your normally start a conversation?" Maurice asks. "Asking someone if they remember Before?" 

I chuckle slightly. "That would probably explain why I don't have many friends." 

Maurice grins. "I wish I could meet more people like you." he says. "People that aren't afraid to talk of Before." 

"I want to remember." 

"Sometimes I think that I must have been someone important Before." Maurice says. "Someone that helped other people." 

I nod and bite my bottom lip. "That sounds about right. You helped Jamie." 

As if on cue Jamie appears in front of Maurice and I. "Maurice?" Jamie looks up at the two of us with uncertainty. 

"Yeah buddy, it's me." Jamie's eyes widen and he pulls himself up onto Maurice's lap. "How are you doing?" Maurice asks my son, not caring that his lap has been taken over by a mass of wiggling four year old. 

"I'm fine." Jamie says and pats his legs. "I have pants like yours." 

Charlie is still by the water. He's kneeling down, trying to reach out and grab one of the ducks. That's how he fell in last time. "Charlie," I call over to him. "You'd better stand up before you fall in again!" Charlie turns his head to look at me and before he can react, the rock he's on tips over and neatly deposits him into the pond. 

"Charlie fell in again!" Jamie squeals with delight. I stand up and run over to the boy. Fred is going to kill me this time. 

I haul him out of the mucky water and Charlie looks up at me. "Sorry." he mutters and stalks off across the grass, his feet squishing in his shoes. 

Maurice appears, with Jamie on his back. "I guess you're leaving now?" he says. 

I nod. "Better get Charlie back home so he can change his clothes. His father is not going to be happy." 

Jamie slaps his hands on Maurice's head. "Run!" Jamie commands and Maurice looks at me. 

"You're welcome to come with us. If you don't have anything to do." I say. Having Maurice with me would certainly be a good deterrent for Fred, if he wants to try anything. And besides, Jamie looks as though he's on top of the world. 

"Run!" Jamie yells again and this time nudges Maurice with his feet. Maurice puts his hands under my son's legs and they take off across the park. I run after them, laughing right along with Jamie. 

_______________ 

"Nice place." Maurice looks around my small apartment. He sounds sincere but I think he's probably just being polite. 

"It's not much." I say, "But for just Jamie and I, it's fine. He has his own bedroom, I sleep on the couch." 

"You don't have a husband?" Maurice looks at me with surprise. 

I shake my head. "No, I was found alone." 

"Jamie was born After?" 

"Yes, I was pregnant with it happened." 

"You don't know who his father is?" Maurice looks down at Jamie who's studiously attempting to untie his own shoelaces. 

"No." I don't want to say anything more. 

"That must be hard." Maurice says. "For both you and him." 

"It's the only life we've ever known." I reply and kneel down beside Jamie. "Sweetie, you're just tying the laces in knots. You have to pull the loose end and it will just come undone." Jamie ignores the shoe with the knots and moves onto the other one. He gives the lace a tug while I start working on the knots he created. 

"I was found alone too." Maurice says. "I have no family." 

"I only have Jamie." 

"I only have mama!" Jamie says and with his shoes off, he stands up and grabs Maurice's hand. "Come see my room! I have some toys!" 

"Toys? Wow, let's see them!" Maurice lets Jamie drag him down the hall and into his room. 

I put Jamie's shoes away and hang up his jacket. Next door I can hear Fred yelling at Charlie for falling into the pond again. Jamie's excited voice floats down the hall and I smile. He obviously needed a father figure in his life. 

A few minutes later, Maurice emerges from Jamie's room, carrying his small toy car in his hand. "This is a car." Maurice says to me. "What kind of car, do you know?" 

I shake my head. "I don't know." 

"NYPD." Maurice says, reading the letters from the side. "New York something. I feel as though I should know." 

I look at him, my hands are trembling. "I do too." I say, my voice is barely above a whisper. 

Maurice sets the car down and pushes it across the table. "Jamie's tired. I think he put himself to bed for a nap." 

"He does that sometimes. Going to the park always tires him out a lot. Thank you for letting him ride on your back by the way, I used to let him do that, but he tends to kick me too much when he does that!" 

Maurice sits down on the couch. "He kicked me too, but he's just a kid. I've been hurt much worse than a few bruises!" 

"I have too. I have some scars." I tell him and think of the various scars that I have on my arms and legs. None of them look as though they were from a serious wound, but they have made me wonder what exactly I had done Before. 

"I do too. A lot of scars actually." Maurice begins to unbutton his shirt. 

"Oh, you don't have to do that." I say quickly, but Maurice continues with the buttons. He finishes and pulls his shirt open slightly. I look at his chest and feel my heartbeat quicken. 

"Right here." Maurice says, running a finger over a puckered scar just below his right nipple. "This must have hurt when it happened." 

I reach out and touch the scar lightly with the tip of my finger. "Does it hurt?" 

"Sometimes I think it does, but I don't think it ever really hurts. It happened Before, so the memory of the pain is gone." 

Maurice's chest is dusted with a light sprinkling of hair. I want to run my hands over it and my finger begins to wander. He's watching me and I yank my hand back and shove it under my thigh. He buttons his shirt up again and smiles. Jamie's smile. "I must have lived a dangerous life." 

"A dangerous life helping other people." I say. 

Maurice nods. "Where are your scars? Do they look like mine?" 

I feel my face begin to redden and curse my pale complexion. "On my arms and legs mostly. They don't look like yours, they're mostly just straight lines, not puckered. They were probably just from cuts and scrapes. I don't know what could have caused yours." 

"I don't know either, but I've often wondered." Maurice says and then clears his throat. "I'd better get going." he says. "I've taken up enough of your time." 

"You're not a bother." I say, hoping that he will get the hint and stay. 

"I have things that I want to do today." Maurice says. "But I know where you live now, so maybe I'll drop by some other time. To see Jamie." 

"That would be nice, Jamie would love to see you again I'm sure. He'll be disappointed when he wakes up and you're gone." 

Maurice stands up and walks over to the door where his shoes and jacket are. "I'll see you again Faith." 

I nod and smile. "Soon, I hope." 

"Soon." Maurice says and pulls open the door. He doesn't look back as he leaves. 

________________ 

_"Oh God, he's been shot! They shot him!" I cry out and fall to my knees. _

The other men rush ahead of me, leaving me on the cold, black pavement. "We need a bus on the rush!" one of them calls out. 

My tears continue to fall, running down my cheeks, splashing onto the ground. I want to get up and go to him, but my legs refuse to work. 

"Faith?" I can feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up and through my tears, I can see a big man standing in front of me. His face is sad. 

"Is he dead?" I ask, my voice cracking. 

"No, but he's been shot in the chest. It doesn't look good." 

"No." I whisper. "He's okay. He has to be." The hand on my shoulder begins to move, gently rubbing me. I try to shrug it off, but the hand refuses to leave me alone. 

"Faith, he's strong." 

"Bosco..." 

My eyes snap open and I realize that I've been crying in my sleep. My face is wet with tears. "Bosco." I whisper. "Bosco was shot. In the chest." 

I don't know what exactly it means to be shot, but Bosco was. In the chest. Maurice has a scar on his chest. I wipe the tears from my face and stand up. My heart is pounding, echoing in my ears. "Who are you Bosco?" I whisper and conjure up the image of Maurice in my head. 

What if...no, that can't be possible. Maurice isn't Bosco because Bosco isn't real. Bosco is a figment of my imagination, he only exists in my dreams. But what if Maurice is Bosco and these dreams aren't just dreams. What if these dreams are memories from Before?   
  



	3. Chapter Three

  
  
  


"What does this word say mama?" Jamie points to the cover of one of my novels. A cover that features a man holding a woman in his muscular arms. The woman's dress is ripped open slightly in the front. 

"That says passionate sweetie." I tell him and hope that he won't ask what the word means. 

"What does passionate mean?" Jamie cocks his head and looks up at me. I shift slightly on the couch, unsure of what to say. Thankfully a soft knocking on the door saves me from having to explain passion to my son. 

"Maybe it's Maurice!" Jamie exclaims and jumps up. He runs over to the door and pulls it open. He was disappointed when he woke up from his nap yesterday and Maurice was gone. When I told him that Maurice might stop by another time, he was somewhat mollified. 

"Hey big guy!" Maurice greets my son and picks him up for a hug. I smile, watching the two of them together. "Hi Faith." Maurice looks over at me and smiles. "I told you that I'd come by soon." 

Jamie starts wriggling so Maurice sets him back down on the floor. "Do you want to play cars with me?" Jamie looks up at Maurice hopefully. "Mama tried to play with me, but she's no fun." 

"No fun huh?" Maurice looks over at me and shakes his head with mock disapproval. "I brought you something Jamie." 

"Something for me?" Jamie fairly quivers with excitement as Maurice digs around in his jacket pocket. He pulls out a small toy and holds it out to him. "Wow!" Jamie says with awe and takes the toy from Maurice. 

"Jamie, what do you say?" I have to remind him to thank Maurice. It was a really nice and unexpected gesture. 

"Thank you Maurice." Jamie says dutifully. "What is it?" 

Maurice frowns slightly and shrugs his shoulders. "Some kind of car I think. Do the letters FDNY mean anything to you Faith?" 

A slight fluttery feeling starts in my chest. Not as strong as other times, but it's there. "No." I say and shake my head. "Nothing." 

Jamie tugs on Maurice's pant leg. "Let's go to my room and play." 

"Okay, but only for a little while." Maurice says. "I want to talk to your mom too." 

I draw in a shaking breath and watch the two of them head down the hall together. I want to ask Maurice what his last name is. I need to know if it's possible that he's the man from my dreams. 

________________ 

"He fell asleep again." Maurice says and sits down beside me on the couch. "Does he ever sleep at night?" 

I laugh. "Believe it or not, he does." 

"If you say so." Maurice smiles and leans back against the cushions. "This is a really comfortable couch." he says and pats his hands on the arm rest. 

"It's not bad, makes a nice bed." I reply. He's making small talk again and that annoys me for some reason. "What's your last name?" 

Maurice tilts his head and looks over at me. "That's a bit personal, don't you think?" 

"You know where I live and you've bought my son a toy, I don't think it's too personal. I'm just curious. I know nothing about you besides your first name and you know a lot more about me." 

Maurice raises his eyebrows slightly. "True." he says and nods his head. "My last name is Boscorelli, happy?" 

My heart stops beating, or at least I think it does. I blink a few times before saying, "Pardon?" 

"Boscorelli. Do you want me to spell it out for you? B-O-S-C-O.." 

"No, that's fine. I heard you the first time." I look at him and feel all the muscles in my body begin to tremble. He is Bosco, there is almost no doubt in my mind. Whoever told me that there was no other Boscorelli in this city was mistaken. 

"Is there something wrong?" Maurice asks and puts a hand on my shoulder. I hope that he doesn't feel me trembling. "Are you okay? Faith?" 

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "I'm fine." I say. I know that I sound uncertain and Maurice is looking at me with concern in his eyes. 

"I didn't realize that my last name could be so upsetting." Maurice says and chuckles. He doesn't realize. 

"It's nothing." I reply and lick my lips. Maurice draws in a deep breath through his nose. 

"Did you want to go out somewhere Faith?" he asks and looks at me hopefully. It's the same expression that I've seen on Jamie's face hundreds of times. "We could take a walk over to the memorial. It would be nice to look at it with someone that isn't afraid of Before." 

I want to say that I think I'm afraid of Before now but I don't. Instead I find myself nodding. "I'll ask Emily to watch Jamie." I say and stand up. 

"Emily?" Maurice looks confused and I realize he doesn't know who Emily is. 

"Charlie's sister. She babysits Jamie when I go out. Not that I go out often. I mean I have a few friends and we sometimes go out but not often." I know that I'm babbling and shut myself up. 

Maurice puts his shoes on and waits for me by the door. I rush into the tiny bathroom and brush my hair. When I look at my reflection in the mirror, I see that my cheeks are flushed and my eyes are bright. That's what Maurice does to me. 

"Let's go." I say and throw my jacket over my arm. "We'll just stop next door and hopefully Emily will be home." 

We approach Fred's apartment and I knock on the door. Heavy footsteps pound on the floor and the door swings open. Fred stands there and looks at me, then Maurice and back to me. "Is Emily home?" I ask. 

Fred frowns. "Yeah she's home." 

"Can I talk to her?" 

Fred turns around and bellows, "Emily!" He didn't need to yell, the apartment is small enough, but I think he likes yelling. 

Emily appears at the door. "Hi Faith!" she says brightly and smiles at me. Then she looks up at Maurice and blushes slightly. 

"Hi Em," I say to her. She's still staring at Maurice. "Can you go over to my place and watch Jamie for me? I'm going out." 

Emily nods. "Yeah sure, that's no problem. How long will you be gone?" 

I look at Maurice and he shrugs. "I'm not sure Em, but if I'm not back before he's ready for bed, just put him down and tell him that mama will give him a kiss when she gets home." 

"Okay, are you leaving now?" Emily asks. 

"Yes, Jamie's taking a nap so when he wakes up, you can tell him that I went out with Maurice." 

Emily nods and looks at her father. "I'll go over there right now!" she says and steps out into the hallway. Fred gives me a look that could be either lust or anger and closes the door behind Emily. 

______________ 

Maurice and I stand at the memorial that is situated in the heart of downtown New York. "It must have been nice to have a blue sky." Maurice says. He's looking at my favourite picture from Before. 

"According to the few records that weren't destroyed when it happened, there used to be eight million people living in this city." I'm not trying to impress Maurice with my knowledge of Before, I just want to tell him that. 

Maurice looks up at the distorted sky. "And now there's only one billion on the entire planet." he says softly. "All those people, lost." 

I nod and silently mourn for the loss of the people I've never known and the life I can't remember. "Did they ever tell you where you were found?" 

Maurice stops looking at the sky and looks at me instead. He shakes his head. "No, they didn't tell me and I didn't ask." 

"I was found in a collapsed building not far from here." I say, recalling what they had told me when I opened my eyes in the shelter. "They said I was lucky to be alive and that it was a miracle that my baby was still alive." 

"How long After was Jamie born?" 

"A few weeks. Not long." 

Maurice brings his hand to his face and rubs his cheek. "I was wearing a ring when they found me," he says. "A simple gold ring. It has writing on the inside of it that says 'all my faith and love' I kept it." 

"They never told me if I had a ring. I just assumed that I didn't." I say and can't help but wonder if I should have a ring. 

"I must have been married." Maurice says and sighs. "But she must have been lost. It's probably best that I can't remember her." 

I step closer to Maurice. "Do you remember anything?" 

Maurice shakes his head. "You already asked me that and I already said that I don't." 

"I have dreams sometimes." I admit to him and feel the now familiar flutter in my chest. "I don't know if they're just dreams or if they're memories." 

"What do you dream about?" Maurice looks at me, his gaze seems to pierce right through my soul. 

"A man that I must have cared very much for. He'd been hurt and I couldn't help him." I say and swallow nervously. 

Maurice nods. "One of my friends, his name is John, he has dreams sometimes too. About people yelling and loud noises. He doesn't believe in Before though." 

I furrow my brow and look at Maurice for clarification. "How can you not believe in Before? It's not something that you either believe in or don't. It happened!" 

"He told me that life is probably better now, so why even think about the past?" 

"How could life be better now? Hasn't he seen these pictures?" I wave my hand towards the memorial and the pictures printed on it. "Blue sky, animals, knowledge of who we are and where we came from..." My voice trails off and I realize that I'm close to tears. "This isn't better. How could it be?" 

Maurice bites down on his lower lip and looks at me with sadness in his eyes. He shakes his head and says, "I can't answer that Faith." 

I wipe a hand across my face, angry with myself for letting myself cry in front of Maurice. Maurice wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him. I let myself rest my head on his shoulder and he moves his hands across my back and through my hair. "Do you want come over to my place?" Maurice whispers into my ear and lets his hands rest on my shoulder blades. 

His breath tickles my ear and I nod. "Yes." I say and pull away from him. Maurice takes my hand and leads me away from the memorial. Away from the pain of Before. 

_______________ 

"Tell me more about your dreams." Maurice says. We're sitting on the couch in his apartment which isn't much larger than my own. 

"There's not much else to tell." I say, wanting to avoid the subject. 

"Can you see what's around you?" he asks. "Is there anyone else with you?" 

I nod my head slowly. "There's a few other people there with me. I'm wearing a uniform of some kind and so are they." 

Maurice looks thoughtful for a moment and says, "Is that it?" 

"No. Do you remember that car that Jamie has? The one with NYPD written on the side of it?" 

"The one that I asked you about." 

I nod my head. "There's a big version of that car in my dreams." 

Maurice looks at me so intensely that I have to turn my eyes away from him. My gaze settles on a patch of wall across the room. I feel him put a hand on my shoulder and I flinch slightly. "I knew the car too Faith. I could feel it." 

I find myself biting my bottom lip. Maurice is making me feel nervous, but not in a bad way. The warmth of his hand radiates through my shoulder and down into the depths of my body. He moves his fingers slightly. "It's probably nothing." I say and know that Maurice will know it's a lie. 

"Your dreams?" 

I nod my head and my hair falls forward into my face. Maurice gets up from the couch and crouches down in front of me, he gently pushes the hair back behind my ear. His fingers linger on my cheek and I shiver. "They're just dreams." I say, my voice barely above a whisper. 

Maurice sweeps his fingers across my cheek and onto my lips. "Don't talk." he says and I feel myself begin to tremble again. His moves his fingers and replaces them with his lips. "I know you." he says and then presses his lips against mine again. 

I put my hands on the back of his neck and run my hands over the small hairs there. He breaks off the kiss and lowers his head, resting it on my chest. "I don't know how," he murmurs. "But I know you. I know this." 

I run my hands across his back and he begins to press small kisses on my collarbone. I close my eyes and allow my hands to continue stroking his back. "Will you come to bed with me?" Maurice lifts his head and looks directly into my eyes. 

I should say no. I should say no and leave this apartment and never look back. "Yes." I whisper and I'm not surprised that I said that. Maurice takes my hand in his and leads me down the short hallway and into his bedroom. We stand at the foot of his bed and he kisses me again, this time gently probing my mouth with his tongue. His hands move up under my shirt, tracing small patterns on my back. I moan softly and press myself closer to him. 

"You're beautiful." Maurice says, looking me directly in the eye. I blush and begin to unbutton the front of his shirt. He watches me as I push open the shirt and run my hands across his chest. My finger finds his scar again and I trace the raised outline of it. My mind flashes back to my dream. The big man said that he was shot in the chest. 

I pull my hands away and slip off my own shirt. Maurice is still watching me as he places his hands on my now bare breasts. He gently teases my nipples and then pulls me close for another kiss. "I need you." he says, barely taking his mouth away from mine. I can feel him pressing against my groin. 

Together we fall onto the bed and soon our pants join the shirts on the floor. He's on top of me, his breathing is heavy. I close my eyes as he pushes himself into me and then open them again once he begins to move. 

I rake my fingernails across his back but Maurice doesn't even notice. He moves slightly and thrusts deeper inside. I groan and feel myself moving with him. "Faith..." he murmurs my name and I know he's almost there. We climax together, he cries out my name and I hold him and cry out, "Bosco!" 

Maurice stops moving and looks down at me. "What did you say?" 

My hands are trembling and I touch his face. "I said Bosco." My finger traces his cheekbones. 

He lays his head down on my chest. I can feel his warm breath on my skin. "I know you." he says again. 

"I know you too." I whisper and run my hands over his hair. "You're the man in my dreams." 

"His name was Bosco?" 

"Yes, and he was shot in the chest. Do you know what my last name is Maurice?" 

Maurice shakes his head no. His hair tickles my breasts. "No, you haven't told me." 

"Boscorelli." I say. "My last name is Boscorelli."   
  



	4. Chapter Four end

What are the chances to that two people who were together Before could meet again, a chance meeting in a store that would forever change the course of their lives? Could those two people even then return to the life that they once led and that was so cruelly taken away from them? 

Without vivid memories of what happened, we are left with only fragments and hazy images. Something more a like a dream that you can grasp only the tail of. I remember feeling love and warmth and I know that inside, he does too. 

______________ 

"What did you say?" Maurice looks down at me. His eyes are filled with emotion, a mixture of confusion and something else. Excitement. 

I smile softly. "Boscorelli. That's what they told me my last name was." 

Maurice shakes his head. "That can't be right. They told me that I was the only one. Why wouldn't they have told me about you?" 

"I don't know." I reply and that's the truth. I can't begin to fathom why they would lie to us. They have no reason to have kept us apart. 

Maurice's hands are playing over my back, tickling me. They find a particularly sensitive spot on my lower back and I moan. Maurice raises his eyebrows and continues to move his hand over that spot. "I want to show you something." he says and rolls off of me. I shiver as the cool air hits my body. 

Maurice walks over to his dresser and pulls open the top drawer. He throws a few articles of clothing aside before finding what he's looking for. "What is it?" I ask as he turns around again and faces me. 

"My ring." he says and hands it to me. "The ring I was wearing Before." 

I take the small, gold band and sitting up, I look at it. "all my faith and love." I whisper and turn the ring over in my fingers. Maurice sits back down on the bed next to me and rests his head on my shoulder. 

"I think you gave this to me Faith." he whispers and then takes the ring out of my hand. As I watch, he slips it onto his finger and then begins to kiss my neck. 

"I can't stay much longer. I have to go home to Jamie, he'll be worried if I'm out too late." Maurice runs the tips of his fingers over my breasts and I shudder. He eases me back down onto my back and positions himself on me again. 

"Just a while longer." Maurice murmurs and then presses his hot mouth against mine. I run my hands down his back and try to commit the curves of his body to memory. He moves slightly and I feel him enter me, thrusting gently until he's buried inside of me. "Oh god Faith..." Maurice groans and begins slowly rocking. 

It doesn't take him long before he's there and I'm right there with him. As he collapses on top of me again, I run my hands over his head and whisper, "I love you." 

"I love you too." Maurice replies and looks at me through half closed eyes. He has long eyelashes, something that you wouldn't expect to find on a man so rugged looking. In my mind I picture Jamie and realize that my son has the same lashes. 

"Maurice," I say and gently touch his shoulder. I want him to look at me. "Jamie, he's yours. He's our son." 

Maurice looks into my eyes and nods. "I know. I think I knew the moment I saw him." 

______________ 

"Mama!" I'm greeting with a squeal of excitement as I step through the doorway into my apartment. 

Emily is sitting on the couch, one of my novels in her hand. She smiles at me and I kneel down to give Jamie a hug. "Did you and Emily have a good time?" 

Jamie nods. "We played some games and she read to me a bit and then she even played cars with me!" 

Emily puts the book down and stands up. "Did you and Maurice have a nice time?" she asks and eyes me closely. 

I run a hand over my hair which I'm sure is tangled and feel my face begin to burn. "Yes, we had a lovely time." I reply. Emily has obviously been reading far too many of my novels. 

Emily grins at me and then looks to Jamie. "I'm going home now Jamie." she says. "Do I get a hug?" 

Jamie lets go of me and gives Emily a big hug. Emily hugs him back and then ruffles his hair. Jamie frowns and tries to fix his hair. "I'll see you later Faith." Emily says and then lets herself out. 

After I hang up my jacket and take off my shoes, I sit down on the couch. Jamie is sitting on the floor, carefully examining the underside of one of his toys. "Jamie, can you come sit here with me?" I say and pat the cushion next to me. 

Jamie looks perplexed, but puts down his toy and joins me on the couch. "Something wrong mama?" 

Jamie looks so concerned that I have to laugh. "No sweetie, nothing's wrong. I just want to talk with you." 

"Am I in trouble?" 

"No, you're not in trouble. I want to ask you about Maurice." 

Jamie picks at a spot of something on his pants and then says, "What about Maurice?" 

"You like Maurice, don't you sweetie?" I ask and know that I'll get an affirmative reply. Of course Jamie likes Maurice. 

"Yes, I like Maurice mama. He plays me with and he brought me the car thing." Jamie replies and continues to pick at the spot on his pants. "He's got nice pants too." 

"Would you like it if Maurice came to live with us?" 

"Live with us?" Jamie looks up at me in alarm. "Doesn't Maurice have his own home?" 

I frown and nod my head. "Yes, he does sweetie, but he would leave his home and come live with us. Would you like that?" 

Jamie sticks out his bottom lip and sighs a bit. "I suppose. But why would he do that?" 

"Do you remember how I told you about Before?" I told Jamie a bit about Before. He's really too young to understand though. 

Jamie nods. "'Course I do mama." 

"Well sweetie, Maurice and I knew each other Before. We were married Before." 

"Married?" Jamie looks puzzled and I realize that Jamie really doesn't know what marriage means. "What's that?" 

"It means that we lived together Before and were in love." 

"You in love now?" Jamie asks and then picks up the book that Emily left laying on the couch. "Like this? Passionate?" 

I chuckle. "Did you ask Emily what passionate means?" Jamie nods and looks absurdly proud of himself. "Yes, passionate Jamie. Maurice and I are passionate." 

"Oh okay." Jamie says and then slides off the couch. "Can I play again now?" 

"There's one more thing sweetie." I say and take his small hand in mine. "Maurice is your father." 

Jamie nods. "Okay." he says and then pulls his hand out of mine. He doesn't really understand. How could he? He's never even had a father figure in his life up until now. 

"Honey, Maurice is your father like Fred is Charlie and Emily's father." 

"Charlie and Emily don't have a mama." Jamie says and looks saddened by that. "Emily wishes she did though." 

"Charlie and Emily had a mama." I tell Jamie. "But she's lost now. Just like Maurice was, but we found him." 

"When will Maurice come here?" Jamie sits down with his toys again and pushes the NYPD car into the FDNY car. "Pow." he says softly and tosses the cars to his side. 

"Soon." I reply. "Maurice will come here soon." 

_______________ 

_"I'm pregnant." _

"You're what?" He looks at me with disbelief written all over his face. "I mean, how? I thought we were being careful!" 

I shrug. "I guess we weren't careful enough. You aren't happy?" 

"Hell yes, I am happy Faith! I'm just a bit shocked. It's not everyday that a girl tells you she's pregnant with your baby." 

I cuff him lightly on the shoulder. "I should hope not!" I say and laugh. He laughs too and then puts a hand on his chest. "Does that still hurt?" I ask, concerned that I might have inadvertently caused him pain. 

He nods. "A bit, but only when I laugh or breathe too deeply." 

"I'm glad that you're still here Bos." I say softly and kiss him lightly on the cheek. 

"Are you kiddin' me? I wouldn't have missed this for the world!" he says, trying to make a joke to lighten the situation. Then his face turns serious. "We should get married." 

"Married?" I squeak. He nods and puts his hand on my belly. As though he's gently cradling our unborn child. 

"I love you Faith. It's not just because of the baby, don't you ever think that." 

I feel the warmth of his hand on my belly and nod. "Okay, we'll get married." 

I wake up with a smile on my face and I can still feel the pressure of Maurice's hand on my body. "Bos." I whisper softly and my smile widens. I used to call him Bos. 

I sit up, easing the kinks from my neck. It's still dark out, I couldn't have been asleep for long. My heart thuds in my chest as I hear a knocking on the door. I get up and try to look through the small peep hole, but the hallway is dark, I can't see anything but a dim figure. 

"Who is it?" I ask in a voice loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to disturb Jamie. 

"It's me. Maurice." comes the reply. I smile and turn the lock. 

Maurice greets me with a smile and a kiss. "What are you doing here?" I ask him after we break the kiss. "It's the middle of the night, you shouldn't be here. You're breaking curfew." 

"I had to see you Faith." he replies and kisses me again. "I needed to feel you. Did I wake you up?" 

I shake my head. "No, I'd just woken up. I had another dream." I tell him and smile. 

"Was I in it?" 

I nod. "Yes, I told you that I was pregnant and you asked me to marry you." 

Maurice looks down at the ring he now wears on his left hand. "I wish I could remember." he says sadly. 

"Maybe you will. Give it time." I say. Maurice looks doubtful and sits down on the couch. 

"Did you talk to Jamie?" 

I sit down next to him and he puts his arm around me and pulls me close. "Yes, I told him everything, but he doesn't understand. Not completely." 

"Is he okay with everything?" Maurice asks runs his fingers over the backs of my hands. 

"I think so. He'll get used to it pretty quickly I think. Do you like your name Maurice?" 

I feel Maurice shrug. "It's alright I suppose. Why?" 

"Because I didn't call you Maurice Before. I called you Bosco, or Bos." 

"Bos." Maurice repeats the much shortened version of our last night. "I think I like Bos better than Bosco." 

"Do you want me to call you Bos?" I ask, but in my heart I know that now, After, he'll always be Maurice to me. 

"No, I think I like Maurice. It wouldn't feel right to be anything else." 

I lean my head against his chest and feel the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. Maurice shifts a bit and with one hand, he grabs the blanket that's fallen to floor and pulls it over the both of us. I close my eyes and let myself drift away. 

_______________ 

_She's wearing a long, white dress with flowers in her hair. I look down and see that I'm wearing a black suit, with a white shirt. It feels uncomfortable so I tug on the sleeves. _

"Bos?" She's looking at me, a smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. 

"Yeah Faith?" 

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" She smiles again and puts a hand over the gentle swelling of her belly. 

I put my own hand over hers. "Hmmm," I say softly. "I don't remember. Maybe you'd better refresh my memory." 

She laughs and presses her lips against mine. "I love you Bosco." she says after we break apart. "I'll always love you."   
  



End file.
